It might have been necessary to smuggle the meat of crab into Amsterdamialandia. Also there could be proof that I was present when three birds, posing as one, snuck into my case of suits.

The crab meat became a traitorous entity when it pried open its plastic enclosure and allowed the juices of said crab to seep into my traveling box of apparel. Food from the vast salty oceaniandic expanses do not mix well with Naugahyde or polyester. I had my man servant, One Eyed Clarance, wash ALL of my clothes so that I did not smell of the market of the fish. 
Morning ladies…is how I greeted the women of Gypsyness who are preparing the streets of Amster for cheap sales and great optimism. 

A side note on the technology the European’s possess. There in the kitchen area exists a magical box that not only is a washer of clothing but a drier of said apparel. It is witchery I tell you…PURE WITCHERY!!! 

Tonight we will be dining on the meat provided by pig laced stuffing that has crept within the bonelessness of a chicken, duck, & turkey bird. 

Apparently a duck, without the bones of most ducks, crawls inside of an unsuspecting boneless turkey bird. I can only guess the duck is miffed because a chicken, carrying pig stuffing where it’s gutsesses would/should/could be, uses mad ninja skills and sneaks inside of the previously spoken of duck. 

This monstrosity holds the moniker of Turducken… obviously a task challenged coon-ass (we will call Perceval or Clementine for shorterness) stumbled upon this travesty of nature. I can only imagine the struggle that ensued. 

While the beast, known in the wild as “El Turdeathan” may be slow because of its bonelessness, it can be deadly in the combat of closeness. It’s evil beady little dead eyes lock onto its prey and the pecking of flesh begins. (Because most Turduckens have a lazy eye it can be confusing where the attack will take place, natures little niceness) This Cajun must have been impressed with the enormous will of survivaling that El Turdeathen exhibited. 
Anywho, Clementine wins and El Turko gets El Cookode! The results are of the incredible propertions. 

Clemy now owns the largest Turduckenry farming plantation in this the hemisphere. He employs is entire family and grows the best turducken-birds in the galaxy. 
Tonight 2/3 of the family of Theeuwes’, will be joined by one Foster and 67 Amsterdamlians. I cannot wait…actually I must and will and am…